I had things all planned out. My calender was marked up with things to do, places to be, errands to be run. I was counting down the days until our Babymama's scheduled c-section. Eight more days. Eight more days until I see my baby.....or so I thought.
This morning at 10am I get a phone call from our social worker. "Your baby is coming today!" Ummmmm. So sorry. Whadusay? Yep. My Babymama was going early due to high blood pressure. She would be going into surgery at 12:30. Too soon for me to make the trip in time to be in the delivery room as planned. You know what they say about the best laid plans.......
We got to the hospital around 6 and had to walk into quite a stressful situation that neither of us were prepared for. The first time I put my eyes on the tee-tiny little face of my daughter she was in the arms of the woman who so graciously decided to give her to me. (But who had also said she wouldn't be seeing the baby. at. all. A million horrid thoughts run through your mind at that time.)
We spent about an hour with Babymama and her boyfriend while they held little baby. Stress.Full. Finally, babycakes was taken back to the NICU where she would remain for the duration of her hospital stay. Not for medical reasons, but the hospital protocol for adoptions. We had to wait for shift change to be over and then FINALLY Bobby and I got to spend time alone with the babe we had waited so many years to hold. This is how I felt by that time:
Ha. The charge nurse gave report to the night nurse and when the night nurse asked if I had any other children the charge nurse said, "I really don't think so. She was so frazzeled this MUST be her first child." Oh my. If she only knew :)
I fed her a bottle that night and marveled at her petite size. 5lbs 9oz and 18 inches. Much smaller than any baby I've ever birthed. Bobby was in awe as well.
We stayed at the hospital until about 11pm. Just holding. Staring. Not believing that our day had actually come. What a blessing.
Now, if my stomach would just settle and let me eat a little I'd be a bit happier. Stress. It does a great job of making one feel skinny for a day or two :)

























