I Almost Had to Use It

Some things just last a lot longer than you anticipate. In fact, most of the time you forget about said things. And, suddenly, they reappear. They reappear when you'd least expect it. Such as, say, when you are coming back to your home after dropping ALL the kids at school and you realize that you accidentally left the garage door open. Feeling fairly sure that no one actually used this opportunity to let themselves in you walk nonchalantly into your kitchen, walk past the opening to the dining room.........and see this: You must realize that this balloon that just fails to die (not unlike the real Darth Vader) is the exact same height as me and when you see it in your periphery it nearly causes a coronary. After I collected myself and realized that it was a stinkin' balloon and not a crazed maniac trying to get me I laughed and vowed that it would NOT startle me like that again. Until it showed up a couple days later behind the door of my laundry room...

I NEARLY had to pull out my karate skills. What? You didn't know that I know Kung Fu? Well, some I learned from a panda but back in the 90's I made it all.the.way. to yellow belt in Wado Ryu.

I'm just sayin'. I've got some serious hidden skillz. So, if you're planning on attacking me any time soon you'd better give it a second thought. There is no telling when all these suppressed roundhouse kicks and gut punches will resurface.